Verb (used with object) To habituate or abandon (oneself) to something compulsively or obsessively
I used to tell myself… “Ok, that was the last time! I’m never doing that again!” But, with nothing more than a blind declaration, it never lasted long. My brain was hijacked.
Brain Hijacking
At its core, addiction is simply the hijacking of the normal processes of the brain. Essentially, each component of the brain is doing what it is intended to do, but for the wrong reason. Which is why addictive substances/practices are… well… addictive.
If you or someone you know is looking for freedom from addictive behaviors, one of the most beneficial things that can be done is to become educated on what is actually happening in the brain. If you aren’t aware of what normal functions in the brain look like then it can be extremely difficult to understand what is happening when the brain stops functioning the way we want it to. You can put a gallon of Neosporin and 1,000 bandaids on a cancer patient, but it will do nothing to help the cancer patient. Without an understanding of the underlying factors, our attempts at fixing the problem are usually futile. Your brain is an extremely complex processor of information, BUT even understanding some basics can take you a long way in taking your brain back.
So let’s discuss some of the key players or parts of the brain that are hijacked when someone experiences addiction.
The Limbic System and the Prefrontal Cortex. (Key Star-Trek sounds)
Limbic System is Like Captain Kirk – Makes quick decisions in intense situations.
Prefrontal Cortex is like Spock – Slower and more thorough evaluations with consideration of the long-term impacts of the decision.
Both are critical parts of the brain. One for quick and intense situations and one for logical thought processing.
I remember many instances of telling my wife that I had had a relapse. They often went something like this… Me: “I had a relapse.” Wife: “What were you thinking?” Me: “I don’t know… it’s like I wasn’t.”
Which is partially true. I was thinking, BUT only with part of my brain. The Prefrontal Cortex wasn’t really being included in the decision-making process. Why is that?
It is because of the intensity of the emotions at play here. Pornography (or any addictive substance or activity for that matter) is an extremely intense experience. Similar to what would happen if you were being chased by a terrifying creature, your Limbic System kicks in and says, “This involves intense emotions, so I’ll take it from here.” Immediately stopping the Prefrontal Cortex from giving input like, “Hey, this is not a good idea! This is going to feel good for a moment, but we are going to regret this decision!”
This is what makes addicting things… well… addicting. Addicting things are specifically designed to be intense experiences that create neural pathways to intense emotions which result in a hijacked brain.
Understanding Triggers
Early on in my recovery, I often contemplated running away into the wilderness to cut off any access to the destructive influence of pornography. That sounds like a great idea right?… Cut off from a loving family, a warm home, and pretty much all of the connections I enjoy daily. To everyone who has not experienced addiction, this sounds absolutely bonkers! … But not to me, a man who desperately wanted pornography removed from my life, it seemed like the only way possible to find freedom. From my perspective, triggers were my problem, they seemed to bring about automatic destruction any time I encountered them. All I knew was that triggers seemed to bring about explosions that hurt me, and more importantly, the people I loved most. I felt like I had lost all control of my life. What I didn’t realize is that triggers aren’t really bad by themselves, we just typically think of them that way because we don’t see everything that goes on between the trigger being actuated and the explosion at the end.
In all actuality, triggers are generally neutral. The standard everyday mousetrap is a great example. It has a catch or trigger that releases a holding bar which then releases the hammer that is powered by a spring. The intended purpose is to kill mice, which from a mouse’s perspective is horrible and scary. However, to a student assigned to make a self-propelled car for a Jr. High science project, it is not scary at all and can be the key to getting a good grade.
So what really makes a trigger scary isn’t necessarily the trigger itself, but what it is connected to.
This is why to someone who has struggled with pornography, simply having a computer can be extremely scary, but to someone who never has, it is just a computer.
Why is that? What makes the difference?
The difference is in the neurological pathways of the two individuals. The first individual has a web of neural pathways leading to memories of intense experiences and emotions. (Intense emotions = Limbic System takeover) The second individual has a web of neural pathways that may lead to cat youtube videos or spreadsheets (No intense emotions = Prefrontal Cortex) Very different, right?
One of the interesting things about these networks is that they aren’t just connected to the images, but also to the emotions that were experienced with those images. For example, the person who has struggled with pornography will not only feel the excitement of an image but also the emotions that they felt surrounding the experience that initially drove them to that image. Like shame, anger, frustration, or fear.
For example, I can ask a group of 10 people if they are afraid of spiders, and typically most of the group will raise their hands. I can then ask them why they are afraid of spiders, and they almost always say things like, “they are just creepy” or “it’s the way they move,” which is often accompanied by a shiver and/or grossed-out facial expressions. Occasionally I will have someone tell me about an experience they had with a spider, but I have never had someone say that they are afraid of spiders because they can be poisonous.
I have asked hundreds of people these very questions, but I have never had anyone raise their hand and give me an answer that would typically be associated with the logic of the Prefrontal Cortex.
It is because the fears associated with spiders are intense emotions, which automatically cause the Limbic System to take over.
Pornography works the same way, not only do we have to learn how to cope with our current situation, but we also have to deal with the emotional garbage of our past. They are all literally tied via neural pathways to our triggers. Fortunately for those seeking freedom, these neural pathways will naturally atrophy over time if they aren’t used. But what if we could speed up that process and remove them?
The Trigger Experience
When you are feeling triggered, you are actually most likely feeling the emotions of past traumas and memories, usually a lot of them all at once. It’s actually very similar to doing a Google Search. You start with a keyword a.k.a a trigger and you get a bunch of results. Let’s say for example that you search for the keyword “Spider”. You will likely get results that look something like this…
All 475,000,000 results will be relevant to Spiders, but in a variety of forms and topics, and not all of them would trigger fear. (See the diagram below) There are results about what a spider is, images of what they look like, and even games and movies related to the keyword “Spider”. If you were to look at each of them one by one, some of them would be relevant to a fear of spiders, but others would not. Most people who are afraid of spiders wouldn’t have a problem playing Spider Solitaire, but watching a “Spider In Mouth” Youtube video would be an extremely different experience.
So what if we could hit a delete button and remove results from any search that we did? Wouldn’t that be amazing!?!?! “Spider in mouth” with 15,300,000 results. Delete! Gone! “Spider Stories” with 24,600,000 results. Delete! Gone!
Drs. Marieke Soeter and Merel Kindt have actually shown that memories can be erased with the use of a beta-blocker (propranolol) based on the notion of “reconsolidation”. This essentially means that memories are like computer files that are pulled up, modified, and re-saved. In the case of their study, they used a drug to stop the memories from being re-saved. http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0006322315003133
In their experiment, they asked arachnophobic participants to get as close to a big spider as they could which essentially pulls up or opens all experiences (fear/trauma/memories) of their phobia. Then they gave the participants a beta blocker that stops the memories from being put back into long-term storage. The results were astounding! One participant, who looked like his heart was going to beat out of his chest on the first visit because he was asked to get closer to the spider, was actually able to touch that big spider on the second visit. Not only did he touch it, but he compared it to touching a hamster. Now you might be thinking, what was that drug again?… and where do I get some? But let me tell you that there is an easier way. The importance of my sharing this is that it is proof that tools have been and can be developed to un-hijack our brains. (There is also a Nova episode that is easier to consume than their article available on Amazon. Nova Series 15 Episode 1. Memory Hackers)
The Subconscious
Have you ever gotten in the car and arrived at your destination only to realize you didn’t put any thought into driving but you somehow got to your destination safely? It’s because your subconscious took over. What we don’t realize is that our subconscious is actually in control most of the time. This is a good thing because our conscious mind typically only processes 40-60 bits of information a second. Whereas the subconscious processes information way faster. (Exact numbers for the subconscious are highly debated, but estimates start in millions and go up into the billions of bits of information per second) The important thing is that we know it is way faster. By comparison, the subconscious is way more powerful at processing information than the conscious mind is but it doesn’t do well at predicting outcomes or processing contextual information surrounding information.
A good analogy would be comparing the subconscious to an elephant and the conscious mind to a man riding that elephant. They both have their strengths and can clear land, but when used together, they can clear a whole lot more. I like this analogy because it helps me visualize how the conscious and unconscious work together. The conscious is constantly checking information against other information and is more rational, but the subconscious doesn’t reason in the same way. The man riding an elephant can tell the elephant to push on a tree that is way too big to push over, and the elephant will go ahead and push on it. Whereas a man would first think through the feasibility of actually pushing the tree over and a slew of other things. This is why regardless of whether it is true or not, talking positively about yourself can build your self-esteem while being torn down by demeaning words can destroy it. Much like an elephant, the subconscious does not fact-check, it simply starts processing the information.
Who knew? Your conscious mind has been riding an elephant for your entire life! (Well at least metaphorically speaking)
This makes sense because you often hear that the best athletes use visualization to improve their game beyond what just practicing without it can. But, you may be asking, “what does this have to do with triggers?” Great question! Well, when I began to understand how I could use my elephant to achieve things that were important to me, I naturally began asking myself the following question. “What if instead of taking a drug when we experience a trigger and then taking a pill, I could just put my subconscious to work to do it for me… in real time?” If athletes can use it to win gold medals or sink more putts, why can’t I use it to rewire my brain?
Learning to Speak Elephant
Once we understand that we have this incredibly powerful tool at our disposal, it simply becomes a matter of knowing how to instruct it or speak its language. So let’s examine what we know about the Subconscious.
We know that we can experience how it works when we sleep. Yep, those often wacked-out experiences we call dreams are actually expressions of our subconscious.
But what good does that do us? Dreams don’t even make any sense. One minute you are in line waiting to get on the school bus and then you are instantly in a tree talking with a potato. The crazy thing about it though, is that when we are dreaming everything seems to make complete sense. Again, you might be asking, what good does that do us? The key to communicating with the subconscious is not in trying to understand the dreams, but rather in understanding how to speak to our elephant in a way that it can understand what we want it to do.
Here are some of the key takeaways:
Dreams are very visually oriented
Dreams also involve all of the senses
Dreams have feelings
THEY DON’T HAVE TO MAKE SENSE
If we want to speak to our Elephant/subconscious we just need to follow these same rules in trying to tell it what we want it to do.
Theoretically, we could follow the same process that Drs. Marieke Soeter and Merel Kindt used but replace it with a visualization of ourselves breaking the neuro-pathways that link a trigger to the intense emotions that cause the Limbic system to kick in and un-hijack the brain. Wouldn’t that be amazing? But it’s just a theory, right? Wrong! I have done it and it was amazing.
My Experience
My life used to be riddled with triggers, and I went to great lengths to try and remove as many of them as possible.
Bringing It All Together
We now understand that a brain can be hijacked, and we know what that looks like in the brain. We know that we would never participate in these harmful activities without the triggers that hijack our brains and cause the Limbic System to take over. We also know that we are going to experience all kinds of triggers and there is no reasonable way to remove all the triggers from our lives. So why not put the subconscious to work and dismantle our triggers instead.
Disarming Triggers
The first step is to experience a trigger. We all experience triggers that bring us unwanted results. Whether it is pornography, or someone not putting the cap on the toothpaste. We all experience them naturally, so unlike the participants in the spider study, we don’t have to go looking for them. If we just go about our normal day, they will find us. So here’s what to do when they do.
Process overview:
Identify the trigger
Visualize attachments
Sever attachments
Here are more detailed instructions
Identify the trigger. (It is best that identify the actual trigger, and not the results of the trigger)
Speak to the Elephant by visualizing what is currently happening in your brain, and how you would like your subconscious to change it. Remember, none of this has to make sense, because the subconscious doesn’t think the way we do.
Imagine where the trigger is located (I generally imagine it as a place in my brain, but it could be somewhere else in your body.)
Imagine the trigger being something tangible. What does it look like? What does it smell like? Is it soft, squishy, slimy, etc.?
Identify a way to examine the trigger. (Pull it out in front of you, or step out of your body, etc.)
Identify how the trigger is attached to the negative emotions. Get familiar with it. Try and use as many senses as possible. How many attachments are there?
Break the attachments with whatever tool suits you. If it proves ineffective, use another tool. If you get stuck, ask yourself “what tool would be able to remove the attachments?” Ensure you have removed all connections.
Come back to the present. Open your eyes, and take a deep breath.
Close your eyes, and step back into the trigger and ensure that you are neutral. If you aren’t, go back to step 6. (Visualizing the remaining unwanted attachments that are causing you not to be neutral)
If you are now feeling completely neutral with all attachments gone, then visualize the connections that you would like to be reinforced when the trigger is activated and visualize that happening.
Although there are triggers that we definitely don’t want to go looking for, there are many that we can anticipate and deliberately hit the delete button. If you have questions or are interested in hearing more feel free to contact me via Email.
