I spent years trying to force or will myself to stop looking at porn. Although not impossible, it’s an extremely difficult thing to do. I know because I was able to get to a point of staying sober for a year at a time. I spent years getting to that point, but even then every day felt like a struggle to make any progress. I had accepted that I would be an “addict’ every day for the rest of my life. It was exhausting. Then I learned something that changed everything. I learned that my brain is a powerful tool for change, especially when we know how to wield it. I started working with mentors that taught me how to instruct my brain to focus on accomplishing my goals and living a more fulfilling life. I started experiencing big shifts in my relationships, my happiness, and even my finances. Then I had this crazy idea, “What if I could turn my brain onto the idea that real Freedom is possible?” That question flipped a switch in my brain that led me to an even crazier idea. “What if I could train my brain to pursue Freedom?” Then something really big happened. It was as if I had plugged my brain into Freedom’s power outlet and everything changed. 

Why should you care about becoming Freedom Wired? It’s faster and easier. To be clear, this doesn’t mean that you suddenly don’t have urges or changes to make. This isn’t a quick fix, but it drastically changes the equation of the struggle. It becomes you + your brain instead of you vs. your brain. Similar to the way a power outlet provides energy to an appliance, plugging into Freedom allows you to access the power of your subconscious to assist you in the pursuit of Freedom. This can be such a big help because it can integrate new ideas much faster than your consciousness can. Actually, addictions start in a very similar way, which is why it’s hard to think your way out of an addiction. 

How does becoming Freedom Wired help? You learn how to train your brain to rewire itself. It’s kind of like putting coordinates in a self-driving car. Or, a closer-to-home example is, the experience you may have had where you were deep in thought, and upon arriving home you notice that you drove home with very little awareness that you were driving. One of the challenges with traditional recovery programs is that they typically focus more on helping us understand logically what’s happening. This isn’t bad, but just like driving a self-driving car, it’s much easier to get where you want to go if the car is headed in the general direction. We use very specifically designed tools to help you to speak to the parts of your brain that aren’t so logical. After all, logic goes out the window when we have an addiction, so doesn’t it make sense to focus on the non-logical parts of the brain?

How do you work on the non-logical parts of your brain? I learned really quickly that the non-logical parts of my brain don’t think the way my conscious brain does. Dreaming is a really good example of how these parts of the brain think. Dreams make complete sense to you, until you wake up. Right? So why would the non-logical parts of your brain understand you any better when the roles are reversed? The first step is to realize that things are going to get a little weird. Accepting that will go a long way in helping you to become Freedom Wired and start flipping Freedom Switches.  

Where are the switches? The switches that I keep referring to are switches that happen in a quite literal “switchboard” in your brain. It is called the Reticular Activating System (RAS), and its job is to control what information your brain should process and what it should ignore. To a very large degree, it determines what you focus on because it determines what information is important or relevant to you. It is located in your brain stem, pictured in bright red in the diagram.

What are some RAS Examples? You may not have known that you have a Reticular Activating System, so here are some common examples that will help you understand what it feels like when your RAS engages. 

1.) Have you ever been to a party or a noisy environment with a lot of people talking then suddenly you hear your name from across the room? There was a lot of noise, but somehow you were able to filter out all of the other conversations and pick up someone saying your name from across the room.

2.) Another common example is what happens when we purchase a car. Very soon after you start seeing tons of the same model. It’s an odd experience that leaves you feeling like there are suddenly a lot more of them on the road. Obviously, your purchase had no impact on how many other people are driving the same model, but it did have a big impact on how many of them you notice. So, when we buy a car, we’re essentially retraining our RAS to think that the model of the car we bought is important. When this happens we’ve flipped the “my model of car is important” switch.

3.) This next example is one that I hope will challenge your thoughts about why people are able to stop consuming porn. I’ve been to countless recovery meetings where they reinforce the idea that you won’t stop until “the pain of the problem becomes greater than the pain of the solution.” Or, you just haven’t “hit rock bottom.” Both of these phrases point to the idea that once you experience enough pain a switch will be flipped in your brain. I refer to it as the “Stop at all costs” switch. When this switch is flipped, the brain becomes focused on stopping, so naturally, people start making progress.

What does the RAS have to do with addiction? The RAS plays a big part in determining what we focus on. The RAS’s impact on recovery is indirectly attributed to as one of the biggest factors in the most widely used addiction recovery program in the world. As mentioned earlier the “Stop at all costs” switch is flipped when someone hits rock bottom. A person’s pain becomes so great that RAS finally grasps that we actually want something different. It doesn’t mean the addiction is instantly gone, but it starts guiding the focus of other parts of the brain to engage. It has the power to change our perspective, focus, and therefore our direction. The real beauty of the RAS is that if we understand how it works then we can engage it in ways that don’t have to involve hitting rock bottom.

What switch is best? We have explored a few different switches, and each one turns on something completely different. If you’re anything like most of my clients, then the first thing you want is to know how to flip the “Stop looking at porn” switch. It’s the natural first step we want to take, but before you run away with excitement that “Stopping looking at porn” is going to solve all of your problems. I want to take a second and recognize that you have options. So if you could flip any switch you want, what would be the best switch to flip?  Bonus Tip: It might help you to make a list of possibilities. Then get clarity by categorizing each switch in the list as good, better, or best.

Why choose the Freedom SWITCH? If you could only flip one switch, I would recommend the Freedom Switch. This switch was the first switch that I intentionally flipped, and it was a game-changer. When I was able to flip it, my life changed drastically and at a much faster pace than I ever thought possible. It was as if I started seeing “The Keys to Freedom” everywhere. For me, it felt like I had finally opened my eyes, and upon looking around I could see that there were keys everywhere, like eggs on an Easter egg hunt. There were just keys that had been laying around that I had never even noticed, let alone taken the time to pick up and try. In a matter of a few weeks, I went from white-knuckle sobriety to actually feeling real Freedom. With each key I tried, it was as if I was unlocking another part of my true self. I now like to describe myself as “The man I would have been if I had never been introduced to porn. But so much better!” This is why if I only had one option, I would recommend the Freedom Switch. It’s like wishing for more wishes from the Genie. 

Every Journey is Different: Although my transition to Freedom may seem impossibly quick, I had 7 years of processing that had occurred prior to the Freedom switch being flipped for me. I was primed and ready for the shift. To be clear, I am not promising that if you decide to work with me that you’re going to instantly be cured, because that is not how this works. But I do firmly believe that becoming Freedom Wired will help you drastically speed up the process.

What makes the Freedom Approach Different?: The biggest difference is the approach itself. The “Freedom Approach” provides us with a perspective that changes the way we engage in every aspect of the journey. Studies of 12 Step programs have shown that the biggest contributing factor to success is belief. Being Freedom Wired maximizes that impact. This approach shifts us out of the belief that we are an addict, and into a mindset that we are capable of Freedom. This process doesn’t have to be driven by pain; it can be a process of exploration, discovery, and even excitement. The Freedom approach is based on principles of empowerment. By implementing the principles of empowerment, you will find that you are also setting yourself up for success in so many other areas of your life. The Freedom Approach is unique in that it is designed to change your perspective. Have you ever considered that your brain is the solution rather than the problem? You have an extremely powerful tool between your ears that can be your greatest ally in this journey. I hope you will join me and embrace a deeper level of hope and learn what real Freedom can be for you.